One of the best transitions

from one song to another is when "We Fight for Diamonds" turns into "Unforgettable Season."
I always have to listen to them in order.
It is GAWGEOUS!!!

Honestly

Sometimes I stop and think to myself "Sarah, you are such a fucking bad ass."
I am saying that over and over in my head right now.

And one day this will get my ass kicked.

Re-read

of the first book.

And I don't think I will ever refer to these books by their names.
So weird.


I love rap music sometimes.

Three years ago today

I saw The Decemberists for the first time, met them all, and cried while talking to Colin Meloy.

This also marks three years that I've been wearing the same Decemberists pin everyday (minus the couple days where I have thought it lost).

I'm done.
I closed the last book for the final time 5 minutes ago.

I want to go back to a week ago and relive the books for the first time again.


I'm crying like a baby.

Yessss, stillllll.

But other than that, THE WEATHER OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW IS FUCKING.AMAZING.

You can have your romance with summer, give me Autumn any day.

NEW TV ON THE RADIO CD TODAY!!!
And I am so hot and bothered right now. The pink from my hot cheeks has still not gone down.

Shit

Ohh, this is why.

I could throw up from the stress that book four is causing me.
I've been reading nearly nonstop since I've been awake - 7 hours.

I have to take a shower. And hopefully hanging out with Elliot tonight will take my mind off of this past week.

I'm almost disgusted with myself.

Stilllllllll.

I started the fourth and final book about two hours ago.

I am completely distraught. Why are there only four books?!?!?!

This Travis Barker shit has me feeling completely sick.
And I'm pretty sure that my mom was on the verge of tears when she called me, telling me about it not even 30 minutes ago.

Just shit :/

Here's something:

I am terrified.
I think that I may change my major.
I cried as I passed the elementary school today and saw all of the tiny kids walking home. I feel my youth and innocence slipping away faster than ever. It's like a bomb ticking and ticking.
Whenever I get stressed out, I go to the bookstore and I don't exhale until I'm alone in the fiction section, surrounded by stories that are far better than my own.
I'm scared.
I keep forgetting to breathe.
And I have no one to talk to about this.

Anything?




Currently listening to: Kings of Leon

Yes, still.

I am about to start book three.

I am nervous and anxious and excited and I feel sick whenever I think about it.

I also had a decent hour and a half nap today. It was so strange because I actually felt refreshed when I woke up.


I think I'm going to write in my actual journal.

:]

Still gone

At 48 seconds, I almost vomit. Every. single. time.



Just to clarify: the vomitting would be out of my complete love for him and that GD crooked smile, naturally.

AND
At work last night, this lady spent $20.14 and while writing out her check, she was like "Is today the 19th?" and I was just like "Oh, yeah" and then she asked if the price was $20.19 and I just replied cooly with "Yeah."
Uhm. no. I was 5 cents off and it was definitely the 17th.
I was obviously in Forks when she was asking these questions.


Reality:
My Breathe Carolina shirt and CD came in the mail!!!

I'm gone.

Today classes were just a hurdle to jump over so I could read.
I hardly heard anything that left my teacher's mouths. I'm sure at least one of them caught my dazed expression or my blank stare that fixated on the dirty carpet for minutes at a time.
I have to struggle to catch my breath when I think of him or open the book.

It's safe to say that I've lost it. And I never wish to return to whatever reality I was previously living in.

I'm slipping.

I haven't read a book that quickly since The Deathly Hallows.

And now... for book two.

Nothing else will be important enough to blog about until I finish these books and slowly let my eyes refocus on reality.
Slowlyyy.

How perfect it was to greeted by such solemn, grey clouds as I made my way to my car. I took it and held it in, pretending that I was somewhere else as I rounded the corner and quickly snapped out of it when I was nearly an inch away from colliding with a car far nicer than my own. And then the rain came. First as a drizzle, and then as if the flood gates had been forced open.

Like anything I've written in the past few years, it isn't good and it lacks an ending. It came to me while I was driving to work, with Forks in my mind.

This is my life when I begin to live through a book.

Oh god

I'm going to have to end this blog.

After receiving endless guilt trips from my mother for months now, I have started the Twilight series.
I fucking hate vampires and if I begin to fall for Edward, I will have to end this blog.

Mine!

As soon as it ships and comes in, etc.

!!!

While I'm alive I'll feel alive

I know that you deserve an entry.
But I am far too sleepy and whenever I go to write in here, I freeze up.

Let's see...
-I recently took it off of my calendar because I was certain that it was not going to happen, BUT I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO SEE NEW FOUND GLORY ON OCTOBER 5TH IN TALLAHASSEE. This probably means nothing to you. But I've been waiting since 8th grade (that's 7-8 years) to see them and I am beyond thrilled.
-Last night (well, September 11th) I saw Why? and Mt. Eerie in Pensacola. It was amazing and I'm so glad that I went despite the crap that went on beforehand.
If you are interested in seeing pictures, they're in my Flickr (link is on the side).

That is possibly it.

Yes. That's it.

I'm never making plans again.

I have never gone through so much shit just to go to a concert.


But I am seeing Why? tonight.
Fuck it.

My Psychology book is fucking missing. I have my first test tomorrow and although it's open notes, I KNOW that she'll be a teacher that derives the majority of the test from the book.

September 11th marks three years since I lost a friend to suicide.

And I am not fucking handling this shit well.


And I'm done taking advice.
And I'm sick of feeling this way.
And I'm just done.

I'm finally going to teach myself how to communicate with a boy I basically don't know.
I need to put myself as far away from my comfort zone as I can.

I'm freaking the fuck out.



I'll continue to be a random stranger for a while.

If I could take two husbands...

I would, without a doubt, wed Michael Cera and Clark Duke.

What makes this funny (to me. I doubt you'll laugh.) is that the boy I have so girlishly been lusting over for 5 months looks a bit like Michael Cera. AND, I realized today, that this boy in my sociology class that has had my eye since school started, resembles Clark Duke a bit.

What makes it sad is that I probably have no chance with all four of them.

I guess that's what daydreams are for.

No actual blogs for me as of late

I know that it’s true
It’s gonna be a good year
Out of the darkness
And into the fire
I tell you I love you
And my heart’s in the strangest place
That’s how it started
And that’s how it ends

The trumpet in my head

I feel like such a broken record.
A lonely, semi-pathetic broken record.


In other news: my sister had her second football game last night. This was the first game of the season where the band did the field show, and Taryn was incredible. I am beyond proud of her.


Currently Listening to: Lykke Li

Girl Talk is getting my 100th post

You need this album. Download it illegally, legally download it, buy it when it comes out, steal it from your friend, just get your hands on it.

And for the record: I cannot fucking wait to make my end of the year music list.

I am

an atheist
a democrat
voting in favor of a black man this November
very pro-choice
for gay rights
a thinker
open-minded


And if anyone has a problem with that, I really encourage them to get on their knees and suck me dry. I am so sick of close mindedness and people who think they know everything.

This is a very excited girl...

who completely forgot to mention that she pre-ordered the Breathe Carolina CD/shirt bundle yesterday.
Anddd they posted the whole new CD on their Purevolume page for the next couple days and I AM IN LOVE.

October 25th cannot come soon enough.

And September 16th will bring me this:

What homework?

Dead tree meets the dirty ground

So, the pathetic "storms" that we got from the hurricane yesterday were enough to knock down our favorite tree.

We begged our dad not to cut it down after it started to die a while ago and now fucking Gustav has done it for us. Fucker.

I'm seriously way too distraught over a tree falling.

I think it's PMS.

Either way, I'll miss it :/

"Nice guys finish last."
No truer words have ever been spoken.


I want to rip out my insides.


This is where it would be great to have those friends that I could run to at 12:30 AM and cry to.