Ours is essentially a tragic age,

!!!

2010-02-11T03:09:00.000-06:00

BLOGSPOT!

Awww

2009-10-28T23:04:00.002-05:00

I miss my blog here sometimes.

And then I remember how awesome Tumblr is.

But still...

:[

2009-07-14T19:07:00.000-05:00

Dressing up, getting drunk with the bestie, midnight premiere of HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!!!

Happy birthday to me!

2009-07-06T00:43:00.000-05:00

fucking 21 years old.

2009-06-19T00:31:00.000-05:00

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=1297141&albumId=2228655

Roo pictures!
Hopefully the link works.

Bonnaroo is tomorrow!!!

2009-06-10T14:24:00.002-05:00

And we're leaving at 4AM.

I'm still using my Tumblr, so go there for any other updates (link in last entry).

I'm going to be updating my Twitter while at Bonnaroo until my phone dies SO keep up with me there! :]
http://twitter.com/haysayrahhay

ULTIMATE BETRAYALLLLLLL

2009-06-03T00:08:00.000-05:00

http://threesixfifteen.tumblr.com/

That last post

2009-05-28T00:53:00.002-05:00

was rubbish.
And I am constantly reminded how lucky I am and how perfect he is.

No more boy posts!

Since when

2009-05-27T15:43:00.000-05:00

is having a boyfriend supposed to make your confidence level go even lower?

I'm just not a big fan

2009-05-26T03:27:00.003-05:00

of being fussed over.

My mom had some girl friends over to the pool yesterday for the holiday and I happened to go outside to say hi and talk to my mom and all of a sudden I am bombarded with compliments on my hair and then one friend goes on about me being beautiful and having that "woman" look. Then my mom embarrasses me and starts laughing about my constant "sex hair" to the other girls.

Maybe I'm weird in the sense that I'm not a fan of having people draw their attention to me over my looks. It's one thing if I say something funny, but this is just so different in my eyes. I appreciate it, but it just makes me feel odd?

But the "woman" look comment took me by surprise. I still feel like I am 5 and I look at least 17. I can't possibly be growing up.

Jesus, etc

2009-05-25T02:26:00.002-05:00

It's hard to be so excited for Bonnaroo when July holds such an amazing things:

July 6: I turn 21
July 12 - 19: The boy visits. Yes, the boy. Boy boy boy. Sarah is doing the love thing. Fuck off.
July 15: HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE comes out / midnight showing and the boy is coming with!
July 27: Breathe Carolina for the 5th time!
July 31: BOB DYLAN

Yeah, way better than Bonnaroo.

2009-05-24T02:00:00.000-05:00

This could actually be it.

Fuck.

2009-05-20T02:25:00.000-05:00

I'm not ready to talk about this on my blog but :]

2009-05-16T02:23:00.001-05:00

It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

Date update:

2009-05-15T10:12:00.002-05:00

July 31st: BOB DYLAN. BOB. DYLAN. I'm serious. THIS GIRL IS SEEING BOB DYLAN.
September 29th: FUCKING BLINK 182. You don't know how long I've waited.

I am going to sob like a baby at both of these. And my mom is going to flip her shit at the Blink concert. Let's just say she's about as excited as me and I'm about to throw up.

This year is amazing so far.

2009-05-14T03:23:00.002-05:00

Otis Redding hits so many spots. Especially at 3:30 AM.

I have so much to doooooo

2009-05-12T12:40:00.004-05:00

and I have to wait to do it. It would look really silly if I pack my Bonnaroo bags a month before the fact.
There is so much shit to buy and money to straighten out.
If everything goes the way it's looking like it is, then NYC for Thanksgiving is out and June will consist of:
June 3rd: Decemberists in Atlanta (if anyone lets me know if they can come)
June 11-14th: Bonnaroo - Tennessee
June 27th: Patrick Wolf in Atlanta

Did you see that last date? The June 27th one?
Did you?
Hmmm?
Just wonderin'
:]

Maybe I'll update with some lists when I begin to compile them. But I'll definitely update with my Bonnaroo schedule sometime soon.

My new favorite thing in the world is going over to Heather's house on Monday nights with Sharon. Oh, and playing Left 4 Dead. I was walking in my hall last night in the dark and started to freak out because I thought a horde was coming. Yeah, it's bad.

2009-05-10T03:28:00.001-05:00

I'm letting myself cry about this nearly 2 days later.

But I can't help but think this is a ridiculous thing to get so upset about.

My sister said the sweetest thing

2009-05-09T01:20:00.001-05:00

while we were driving around earlier, blaring the Beastie Boys:
"I don't care if we fight, you're seriously the best sister ever."

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

2009-05-09T01:19:00.001-05:00

Friday night became so lonely,
When you came to make a break,
That seemed to take all day to make me angry 'cause I
Like you, maybe I'm just Like You
Holding on to something that we know we can not hold
or fold it seems we just can't forget
Are you frightened, by perfection?
Is this who you are, not who you want to be,

I walk the line like Johnny Cash
I made the bus in seconds flat
I called your line too many times
I'm not obsessed, just impolite.

Sunday came and went so quickly
now you say you want me back
you will hold on, despite my cons,
it seems we're meant to hate it!
Being so dependent.
But it seems we can believe that we're two peas in this pod
we call New York, gets so lonesome.
Are you frightened, by neglection?
Am I who you want to see yourself to be?

I walk the line like Johnny Cash
I made the bus in seconds flat
I called your line too many times
I'm not obsessed, just impolite

You're stuck on me, you don't know why
Can't leave me anytime you try
They say that everybody cries
so don't think twice 'cause it's alright.

Stay here,
touching you, touching the light in your eyes
that keeps coming back

2009-05-08T18:02:00.001-05:00

I feel robbed of my innocence a bit.

I don't really want to go into today's happenings.

2009-05-07T23:42:00.002-05:00

In about 12 and a half hours I will be mostly naked with my feet propped up and legs spread.

WELCOME TO BEING A WOMAN, SARAH!

I'm a pretty amazing sister because

2009-05-03T22:21:00.002-05:00

I leave my sister Myspace comments like this:

In turn, my sister is incredible because she RSVP'd.

2009-05-03T17:08:00.001-05:00

I've only been listening to "Walking On a Dream" for two months and I think that I would be lost without it.

That sounds so ridiculous.

It's just one of those songs that you wait to hear for 20 years.

PAINT WARRRRRRRR

2009-05-03T02:34:00.000-05:00

PS in the form of an entirely new entry

2009-05-03T01:00:00.002-05:00

My sister and I had a 15 minute conversation regarding Empire Of the Sun's CD jacket. We sounded like two kids on shrooms. I wish it had been filmed because it was hilarious (to us at least). "WAIT WAIT WAIT. What if this is what you see as your space ship goes into the sun and you die?" "OH LOOK! Standing On the Shore... literally!"
"Ohhhh you can walk on my dreams anytiiiiiime"

You had to be there... and have an idea about what the CD jacket actually contains.

2009-05-03T00:57:00.001-05:00

PAINT WAR 09 took place last night.

15 things of paint between the three of us. Shit got colorful.

2009-05-02T03:44:00.003-05:00

-I got district employee of the month at work which is pretty impressive. So impressive, in fact, that I got a gold button to put on my lanyard.
-My bfff is giving me a face makeover at her work today. Makeup on my virgin face... I cannot help but be a liiiiittle scared
-If my Empire Of the Sun CD does not come in today I am going to lose my mind
-I AM FED UP WITH BEING FUCKING SICK. This cough is not fun.

SCHOOL'S OUT (for me)!
A week and a half of freedom before summer classes.
Fucking. bummer.

2nd show of the week

2009-04-29T16:23:00.004-05:00

CURSIVE and MAN MAN were fucking sensational last night.
Taryn and I were up front for the whole thing
-The singer for Man Man was set up right in front of my face and would occasionally put his hand on my hand and ruffle my hair
-I MET TIM KASHER and got word vomit which caused me to go into how his music got me through high school.
-After Tim and I took a picture together, he looked at it and was like "We did good. We'd make a cute couple."
-CURSIVE PLAYED MY THREE FAVORITE SONGS FROM DOMESTICA which is my favorite album by them and one of my favorites of all time.
-One of these songs was played very last as the 4th song to their encore; "The Martyr" (which also happens to be my favorite by them). All I wanted out of the concert was to be able to scream that song along with them. I got that wish.
-I head banged and hit my fist on the speaker in front of me so much that I'm surprised my hand isn't sore
-I stole one of Tim's waters before Cursive went on. He had three and my friend who helped bring out the water said it wasn't a big deal
-I got about as drenched in my own/everyone else's sweat as at the Against Me show
-I have so many bruises on my legs now that I look like I'm in a punk band
-One day I will post all of the pictures from the shows I have gone to this year. Promise.
I'll actually start working on that ASAP and then link you to my Photobucket.
-I am crazy happy. Time to shower and study for my final tomorrow. Last day of biology!!!

Look at me, oh look at me is this the way I'll always be? Oh noooooo, oh noooooo

2009-04-27T02:44:00.004-05:00

The show was ridiculous and a total blast at the same time.
By the time we got in the door, we walked straight up to the stage and kept that spot for the night until Against Me went on but more on that later.
So, Taryn and I are just hanging out, waiting for more people to show up and the first band to set up when TOM GABEL (singer for Against Me) walks in from the back door and goes up onto the stage. As he's walking across the stage, so many thoughts rushed through my head (do I say "hi?" Should I be staring? Maybe he'll just talk to us anyway?) and I was left staring, with this star struck stupid ass grin on my face until he looked over and said "Hey, how's it going?" with a smile like he knew how in shock I was. Then he walked off the other side of the stage and Taryn and I were left to freak out.

The first band was a local punk band that never ceases to thrill me.
2nd band was Pine Hill Haints- completely amazing and interesting. I danced like crazy.
3rd band- Off With Their Heads. This is when the pushing really began and by the end of their set we had just about lost our spots.
Before Against Me took the stage, shit just got worse. We were all dripping with sweat and being pushed around as other people tried to weasel their way up to the front and all hell broke loose the second their feet hit the stage. It was no longer possible for me to keep my balance and my thighs were forever being shoved against the stage as I shouted "fuuuuuccccccckkkkk" and desperately looked for a way to get on the stage if possible. I finally put one of my feet up to the stage and ended up sitting on stage with everyone else who was in the front row. Then, Taryn was in the same spot that I had recently been so we had to get her up there as well.
Even on the stage we weren't safe and by this point my white shirt was a nice, disgusting color and my sandals were somewhere out of sight. So, we basically watched the band from the stage, me under one of the guitarist's' mic stands with sweat dripping from his hands, onto me. Butttt I have been waiting 6 years to see them so I cannot complain with being that close to them.

After their set, we made our way off of the stage, drenched and smelly and somehow bumped into my boss who we followed over to the merch table and talked to outside for a while. Thennn Taryn and I walked behind the building in hopes of meeting Tom (officially) and/or anyone and everyone from the band. After standing around awkwardly for about 5 minutes, I was about to give up when I saw the guitarist whose sweat had been all over me and I called him over, met him, and asked where Tom would be.
He had Taryn and I follow him and then we were face to face with Tom when I was all silly and shook his hand while introducing myself. He then introduced himself (which was adorable) and I had him sign the set list I snagged and then two other band members did the same. After that I took a picture with Tom and left completely satisfied.

Fuck I am tired and I'm listening to two boys play a game via Skype while I just sit here quietly and blog.

PS: I ordered my Empire of the Sun CD yesterday. FUCKING STOKED

Currently Listening to: Passion Pit. I've been in a Passion Pit coma for two months and I'm still loving it.

TONIGHT:

2009-04-26T15:13:00.004-05:00

Let's not get into how long I've been waiting to see these guys.
We'll just say that tears may come from my silly eyes.

PS:
I was just thinking about how much it would suck if I took the keys off of my keyboard and put them back on in random places. It scared me just thinking about it.

2009-04-26T03:02:00.000-05:00

No more boy.

Apparently I'm great at attracting scum.

Smitten.

2009-04-22T05:21:00.002-05:00

Signs that yesterday/this morning were great:
-I didn't get home until 5 AM
-My lips are swollen
-My legs are shaky
-Uh. I feel like a little girl.

Any other details will be placed somewhere else.

2009-04-21T16:26:00.001-05:00

Sarah hanging out with said boy tonight?

Talk about my nerves being in such a tizzy that I may throw up.

SAY WHAAAAAT?

2009-04-21T00:44:00.002-05:00

Sarah and a boy?

More to come on this story as details develop!

(Unless you want the details that I currently have to share. Then your name must start with an H, for that is the only person who can read my ~private~ blog where I will post such details if they are wanted)

This is true.

2009-04-20T01:46:00.002-05:00

I am so addicted to the "like" button on Facebook that I now expect it to be everywhere. Even outside of the int3rw3bz.

-Today marks 21 years that my parents have been married and they're still fucking adorable and amazing as ever.
-Starfucker is where it's at right now
-Money is freaking me out
-I need to make my first womanly appointment and that has me scared (to deaaath) as well
-OH YEAH, and that biology presentation

This post was supposed to be nothing but positive. Shit.

By the way...

2009-04-19T19:31:00.002-05:00

MY SISTER IS HOME FROM OHIO!
And she sent me this amazing video of one of the groups at the competition who focused their whole show around Radiohead songs complete with one of the guys in pit singing "Videotape."
I knew I should have been in band in high school instead of chorus.

I really need to work on my biology bullshit. :[

Guess who isn't doing her biology work!

2009-04-19T19:24:00.000-05:00

As serious as my split ends.

Record Store Day is officially my favorite holiday

2009-04-18T18:06:00.003-05:00

I made out like a bandit at Central Square today. If I had more money, I would make the drive to Seaside everyday and just live in the store.
Either way, I bought two 45's and walked out with 8. They gave out Record Store Day buttons and CD samplers with every purchase. It was just so exciting and great.
AND this time next week I should have The Hazards of Love on VINYL.

Other than that, the rest of Lindsey and I's visit to Seaside was so so so great. We got icees and had great conversations and let a bee stop us from walking the nature trail. Then we had the worst waitor in the history of table waiting.

Good day.

Maybe I'll get some biology work done with the rest of my day.
(hah!)

2009-04-17T03:19:00.001-05:00

My dad and I were driving on highway 98 across from IHOP last night when I saw the Twitter logo on that huge LED screen. Then I read the rest of it and it was an ad saying to visit Ashton Kutcher's fucking Twitter page followed by his URL.

And I just saw that he was the first to reach 1 million friends in some CNN contest.
This is sad. Really sad.
And CNN? Shouldn't you be... I don't know... bringing us actual news?

And for the record, he and I are not Twitter twat friends. But Miley Cyrus and I are, and babygrl talks about jesus in every freaking tweet. Apparently jesus is cool with her and some 20 year old boning. It's sweet, really.

I'll Take You Home

2009-04-17T02:13:00.004-05:00

There was this moment while in Pensacola two weeks ago, sitting in the backseat of Brian's "Beast" when the strangest feeling came over me and I only just thought about it again earlier tonight.

For a moment, everything holding me back was cleared from my head and I actually felt myself growing up. I was doing what a 20 year old should be doing and it was painful but relieving. There's not really an accurate way to describe it, I just couldn't believe the feeling that had washed through me.

And after watching Milk two nights ago, my parents brought to my attention that they believe I should become an activist for something, anything. Apparently seeing the way the movie affected me sparked this idea in them. I sobbed about as hard as I did when I said goodbye to my sister Wednesday night if that says anything.
I don't know, honestly. It's always been something that I've been interested in but I'll just have to see how this journalism thing goes. I'm almost done with my AA, then it's two more years of school and then I'm a part of the machine.
Ew. Did I really just say that?

I don't know if I will ever look at myself in the mirror and see a normal adult... or an adult at that. I'l be 45 with braids in my hair, snuggling up with a stuffed unicorn at night. Or falling asleep with the Disney channel on at age 60. And my mouth? I cannot imagine having a clean one. Will I still laugh at the word "balls" in 30 years? Fuck, I hope so.

OH POST SCRIPT: PHOENIX IS PLAYING AT BONNAROO!!! I'm bringing sooo many pairs of panties to 'Roo. I'm going to soak through them like they're pads. (YES I DID SAY THAT)

I am the worst when it comes to goodbyes

2009-04-16T01:09:00.003-05:00

especially when it involves my sister.
I can pretty much say that that girl is my world.
And we had to send her away on a charter bus to Ohio about an hour and a half ago. She'll only be gone until Sunday and she's going to have such a blast but I really feel incomplete without her present or anywhere near by.
Maybe it's pathetic and I know she'll just laugh at me when she sees this, but it's so true.

Oh well, she's in for a treat when she reaches the bottom of her suitcase and sees what I left her.

Ily, bb

I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88

2009-04-12T23:57:00.005-05:00

It's nights like these where I am inspired to do something, anythiiing creative. But the world does not need anymore pictures of my freckled face and I have no idea what I could write about (that's a lie. I'm just too lazy to type or write anything out).

But I do have homework for an upcoming presentation that needs to get done. I always tend to get inspired when that is the case.

But whatever

whatever

-After Zombie Jesus Day, I fucking hate chocolate

-I cannot sign on AIM without being annoyed by people that I'd just rather not talk to. And they just drone on about what? Absolutely nothing.

-I re-dyed my hair. It's still red. Darker. But red... still. Like I said.

-I've decided to get a body wave. Birthday present? My hair will thank you and I'll send you updates by mail.

-Noel Fielding's smile is enough to make me soak through 5 pairs of panties.

Other than that... yesterday was a blast.

Here's proof:

2009-04-11T13:27:00.001-05:00

A whole lot of nothing, my friend. I hate that I've slacked on this thing so much :[

2009-04-11T01:12:00.001-05:00

Walmart at 1AM is just like watching the "Thriller" video. And it's not just the black people. Everyone has a limp and shuffles their feet as they walk.

2009-04-09T01:56:00.000-05:00

WHAT'S UP???

I'm such a stranger.

2009-04-05T15:01:00.003-05:00

Thursday and Friday were AMAZING.

I'm seeing these guys tonight in concert:

2009-04-02T02:32:00.002-05:00

It's Spring Breaaakkkkkk.

The remainder of this week:
THURSDAY and Friday I am spending the night in Pensacola at my friend's house. Sharon and I are heading out there in the PM today. I'm hoping to return with some interesting stories... if I can remember them all.

Saturday: come home, go to work

Sunday: HALL AND OATES CONCERT.

And there's some other shit going on that is exciting.
Maybe I'll blog later?

2009-03-30T01:22:00.001-05:00

Otis Redding makes me weak in the knees.

Is love like that even real?

2009-03-28T03:42:00.002-05:00

I find that when I listen to just one Friendly Fires song, I have to hear more and it's usually my three favorites on repeat.
They're the kind of band that are fun to sing along to even if you don't know all of the words.
I was just rolling around on my bed and pretending to sing to them.

I'm going to be up for a while more. I need to hear moooore.

HAY MTV

2009-03-27T23:42:00.004-05:00

The All-American Rejects - New Music - More Music Videos

At 30 and 31 seconds into the video pause it and find the guy on the far right in the white shirt, holding a camera. THEN look right next to him and find the girl in the green shirt with red hair. (My head will be right between the guitarist and the guy in the white shirt) That's me at Spring Break ON FUCKING MTV. Just sayin'

And just because I can... here's a picture of it:

2009-03-27T00:43:00.002-05:00

I'm just about in full obsession mode. This always happens.
The only copy of Where the Wild Things Are that we have is my mom's from when she was a kid. It's the same copy that my sis and I went through SO on my break at work, I went over to the bookstore and bought my own.
AND I've decided that I'm going to be Max for Halloween. I am sooo excited about that.

-My hand still hurts
-It is officially my Spring Break
-My biology notebook is MISSING. Tweet me if you find it
-I hate being asked at work "HOW MANY PIERCINGS DO YOU NEED TO WORK HERE? AND OMG I DON'T HAVE ANY TATTOOS IS THAT OKAY?! " Fucking seriously, people?

Next Thursday and Friday are going to be AMAZING.

I swear that I had more to say :/

Oh god

2009-03-25T22:49:00.003-05:00

Watch this:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wherethewildthingsare/

I am officially over the moon excited about this film and every time I watch the trailer I tear up.
AND one of my favorite people, Karen O, did the music for it. ALONG WITH Carter Burwell who did music for the Twilight film. Win win win.
WIN.

On an off note.. I was dancing in the kitchen while doing the dishes earlier today and ended up smacking my hand (fucking harddd) on the underside of the counter causing it to swell.

So much win today.

AND PASSION PIT IS PLAYING BONNAROO NOW.
And the comedians performing were announced and I am NOT disappointed.

AND AND AND I still love my hair. A lot.

Oh, Hazards of Love <3

2009-03-24T03:17:00.002-05:00

I bought a mood ring at work last night. I've concluded that after wearing it all night it is either broken or I have some serious emotional issues.

I just got done doing this:

Unfortunately it looks like this when I put my dresser and mirror back:

Fuck. My ear is bleeding. BRB.

Ugh. There are few things that I hate more than blood.

ANYWAY. I actually think that that was all I needed to say (without saying much at all). ONE DAY you will get a thorough update. One day...

Dear Phoenix,

2009-03-23T03:28:00.005-05:00

how about you move up the release date of your new album so I will stop having to download tracks from the leaked version? Hmmmmmm?

I'M DYING OVER HERE.

I need this beauty in my arms.

Hazards of Love can only keep me occupied for so long...

(as in forever... but saying that would ruin the urgent message I am trying to send out)

So much to saaaaay!

2009-03-23T02:04:00.003-05:00

But I'll wait.

If I loved my hair any more it would be ridiculous.
Just sayin'

EDIT:
I will say this though:
MY PRE-ORDER OF HAZARDS OF LOVE CAME IN ON SATURDAY AND IT'S SIGNED. YES. SIGNED. Despite already having their autographs, this is still a huge deal.
I've cried over this CD more than I like to admit to.

My lovely, lovely, favorite band

2009-03-18T23:59:00.004-05:00

I was not going to listen to this live webcast on NPR. But alas, here I am, with big tears in my eyes, as The Decemberists are about to take the stage and play Hazards of Love in its entirety. This is my first listening of the whole album. I have only heard two songs from it and have refused to give into downloading the leak. This is a huge deal for me.

Excuse me while I go off and spend the next hour or more in complete awe.

I feel siccccccck

TODAY:

2009-03-17T07:23:00.002-05:00

2009-03-16T02:49:00.002-05:00

BEFORE

AFTER

Oh heyyyyyyyy

2009-03-14T23:14:00.001-05:00

Putting bleach in my hair BRB

FUCK.

2009-03-13T01:58:00.001-05:00

I CAN HEAR "KIDS" EVERYDAY AND NEVER GET SICK OF IT.

IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR NOW AND IT STILL GIVES ME CHILLS.

YUM
YUM
FUCKING
YUM

It's not supposed to flow

2009-03-12T01:52:00.005-05:00

I just have to come to terms with the fact that I have not meant the best friend I have always wanted yet.
I want that best friend who you connect on everything with. The kind that you get matching tattoos with and share music and amazing experiences with. The kind of person who wants to be around you no matter what you're doing and doesn't expect anything out of it; just being around you is enough.
I keep forgetting how young I am.
I get that feeling in my chest whenever I start to freak out and think "I have to do this over. I have to do this over." You can't do it over.
I'm sick of trying to make this friendship work when you're heart is so far away from it.
I need to stop thinking that there is something wrong with me.
I am so ready to bleach my hair and go red.
There is so much I want to get done this year. All of which costs good chunks of money.
I'm starting to want to go off to the dorms when I start school. I just wish my family could live there with me.
It's really difficult to always be there for someone and then watch when they blatantly pick someone to favor over you.
I had a really fun conversation with a new friend over AIM tonight. And this person happens to be completely adorable.
I hate being left out.
What is going on?

"I love pregnant chicks because...

2009-03-11T00:25:00.001-05:00

1. You know they put out
2. You can't knock them up
and 3. They might be having a girl, so it's almost like having a threesome."

Fuck, I love my boss.

2009-03-10T01:56:00.002-05:00

Sarah does MTV SPRING BREAK IN PANAMA CITY BEACH, FLORIDA next Tuesday.

Fucking 3OH!3 is playing and I am beyond stoked.

And I have the next 4 days off, so I will blog a story or two out.

(ps: that boy from that band was in my dream a tonnn last night. I cannot decide if this crush is pathetic or not)

My city makes the Keith Olbermann show

2009-03-08T21:52:00.003-05:00

(at about 3 minutes in)

I'm not going to bitch about it and waste my breath; you know where I stand. But the fact that this sign exists in my small town where I will see it almost everyday makes me dislike it that much more. I guess I will never understand hate... or bad grammar.

And for those of you who cannot watch the video, I took a picture of the sign tonight. It's in this empty (privately owned) lot about 7 minutes from my house.

And yes, Hussein is misspelled. The guy's quote from our paper (also in the video) was just genius.

2009-03-05T02:54:00.002-06:00

There are a few stories to be told.

Buttt I have not been this exhausted in ages and I am getting excited just thinking about stretching out my torn up body in bed.

But I'd rather get some head

2009-03-04T02:47:00.003-06:00

Oh my god.

The Girl Talk show was fucking crazy. Crazy and incredible and insane and fucking... crazy.
I was so nasty with sweat and beer and water that I had to take a 2AM shower as soon as we got home.

Also, at one point someone stepped on my foot (I was wearing sandals at a sold out rap/dance/amazing show... I'm an idiot) and it was hurting for the rest of the night. WELL, I check it when I get home and see that there is dried blood caked on it and the nail is fucking bent back on it.
Fun.

I'm exhausted and WILL post the pictures later.

But now I sleep, for in 12 hours we're seeing BREATHE CAROLINA!

Edit:
I don't care how unattractive and gross this is...

New glasses!

2009-03-03T00:45:00.001-06:00

You can't tell but they're chocolate brown and have light blue lining the inside. :]

A real update? Whaaaaaaat?!

2009-03-01T23:27:00.004-06:00

For the first time in ages, I have a full week of bullshit ahead of me. That's a lie. I am seeing two of my favorite bands this week so it can't be thaaat bad, yeah?

Monday March 2nd-
Work at night

Tuesday March 3rd-
Class from 11-12:45
2nd payment on my Bonnaroo ticket
MOTHERFUCKING GIRL TALK!!! in Pensacola with my sister.
I would be jealous but I'm the one going. HAAAAY.

Wednesday March 4th-
Leaving early for Pensacola for the 2nd show of the week.
Who's playing, Sarah?
Oh, just BREATHE CAROLINA (that means I'm seeing "the boy"), Cute Is What We Aim For, Every Avenue, and 2 other bands that I'm not jazzed about seeing.

Thursday March 5th-
Sleeping in
Work at night

Friday March 6th-
Uh, just work at night
Anddd ordering my Against Me! tickets because they're fucking coming to Pensacola in Aprillllll. Finally!

Saturday March 7th-
Renaissance fair in Pensacola with mom and Kim!

Sunday March 8th-
Church, what else?

-I ordered new glasses last Friday that should be coming in this week
-Anddd I just bought Cursive's new album for a dollar. Of course I'll eventually buy the real thing, but I could not pass this up.
Exciting things are going on over here.

Fuck, excuse me while I go jerk it to the fact that Jonah Hill is making a guest appearance on Tim and Eric.

2009-02-28T02:16:00.001-06:00

If a guy could come to my window and sing anything to me, I would want it to be this.

Ah, one day.

Ohhh, new obsession

2009-02-26T23:36:00.000-06:00

What my life is lacking.

2009-02-26T04:00:00.002-06:00

Oh but the longing is terrible,
A wonton heart under attack.
I wanna love you,
All the way off,
I wanna break your back.
Colour of all that's hysterical,
Travels along your bones.
Just to be near you sucking your skin,
Not gonna leave you alone.
Yes here of course there are miracles,
A lover that loves that's one.
Groomed with the laughter,
Ecstatic disaster,
Come let's arouse the fun!
We could build and engine,
Out of all your rising stars.
Tear apart the apart,
We seem to think we are.
Call of work let's lay!
Call it lovers Day!
Call it lovers Day!
Give me the keys to your hiding place,
I'm not gonna tear it apart.
I'm gonna keep you weak in the knees,
Try to unlock your heart.
You're gonna turn me animal,
You’re gonna turn me dumb.
Your kiss in the night,
Bringing the light,
You’re like the rising sun.
I hunger for you like a cannibal,
Not gonna let you run.
I'm gonna take you,
I'm gonna shake you,
I'm gonna make you come.
Swear to god it will get so hot,
It’ll melt our faces off.
Then we can see,
The you the me,
Beyond mirrors outside clock.
Held naked in the light,
Held gently,
Held tight,
So soft!
Get off!
Get off!
Ball so hard,
We’ll smash the walls,
Break the bed,
And crash the floors, don’t!
Stop! Laugh and scream!
And have the neighbors call the cops!
'till all the eyes that they've seen our fire play!!
Can't forget,
Mark it down,
Call it lovers Day!!
Yes here of course there are miracles.
Under your sighs and moans.
I'm gonna take you,
I'm gonna take you home.

I feel compelled to pain these lyrics on my wall tomorrow

2009-02-26T02:51:00.002-06:00

In a city sky rise all the time
You pushed me to the top floor so we could see the sights
I can tell that you wanted to,
Jump in the pool
Jump in the pool
I looked at you I knew you wanted to,
Jump in the pool
Jump in the pool

I push out
I breathe in
And still us turning away
Don't look back
Don't pretend
We'll ever take control again
And we're falling beyond the horizon,
And only the water remains

The fear is falling away

On the poolside staring into glowing blue,
Swimsuit issues with my toes curled in the grooves
I could tell that you wanted to,
Jump in the pool,
And jump in the pool,
I looked at you i knew you wanted to
Jump in the pool,
Jump in the pool.

I push out
I breathe in
And still us turning away
Don't look back
Don't pretend
We'll ever take control again
And we're falling beyond the horizon,
And only the water remains

The fear is falling away

Keep breathing, keep searching
Keep holding on
Keep breathing, keep living
Keep holding on

I push out
I breathe in
And still us turning away
Don't look back
Don't pretend
We'll ever take control again
And we're falling beyond the horizon,
And only the water remains

The fear is falling away

2009-02-26T00:56:00.001-06:00

Oh, I wish Pinkerton could take the form of a lovely boy and we could get married and have children with ridiculous names.

It's sinful how great this is

2009-02-24T19:28:00.001-06:00

Met a dancer
Who was high in a field
From her movement
Caught my breath on my way home
Couldn't stop that spinning force
I felt in me
Everything around seemed to giggle glee
She walked up with a flower and I cared

Got a dancer
Who gets wild to the beats of record rhythms
But I'm always away for weeks
That pass slow my
Mind gets lost
Feeling envy for the kid who'll dance despite anything
Oh while out in the flowers I feel better

If I could just leave my body for the night

Then we could be dancing
No more missing you while I'm gone
There we could be dancing
And you'd smile and say, "I like this song"
And when our eyes will meet there
We will recognize nothing's wrong
And I wouldn't feel so selfish
I won't be this way very long

To hold you in time
To hold you in time
To hold you in time
To hold you in time

While we were dancing
Early hours
Drunken days finally ended
And the streets turned for a pillowcase
Then I fumbled our good lock
Then the ecstasy turns to rising light
Through our windowpane
Now I'm gone
I left flowers for you there

2009-02-22T23:28:00.002-06:00

It's too much to just keep this blog up to date.
I had a very interesting Friday night, but who knows when I'll get around to talking about it.

I also want to quit everything and become a comedian.

2009-02-20T01:41:00.004-06:00

She says it helps with the lights out
Her rabid glow is like braille to the night.
She swears I'm a slave to the details
But if your life is such a big joke, why should I care?

The clock is set for nine but you know you're gonna make it eight.
So that you two can take some time, teach each other to reciprocate.

She feels that my sentimental side should be held with kid's gloves
But she doesn't know that I left my urge in the icebox
She swears I'm just prey for the female,
Well then hook me up and throw me, baby cakes, 'cause I like to get hooked.

The clock is set for nine but you know you're gonna make it eight.
All the people that you've loved they're all bound to leave some keepsakes.
I've been swinging all the time, think it's time I learned your way.
I picture you and me together in the jungle it would be ok.

I'll bring you when my lifeboat sails through the night
That is supposing that you don't sleep tonight

It's like learning a new a language
Helps me catch up on my mime
If you don't bring up those lonely parts
This could be a good time
It's like learning a new language

You come here to me
We'll collect those lonely parts and set them down
You come here to me

She says brief things, her love's a pony
My love's subliminal

She says brief things, her love's a pony
My love's subliminal

Six years later and this song/album still leaves me in complete awe.

Dear Sarah's subconscious,

2009-02-18T22:01:00.002-06:00

no more dreams with me making out with faceless guys!
You are such a tease.

Fuck, it's been too long

Fitz and the Dizzyspells

2009-02-15T04:02:00.002-06:00

Tooooo much shit going onnnnn. I have not typed the story out. I want to, badly, but whenever I think about sitting down in front of this thing and dedicating an hour to typing out every fucking detail, I get too intimidated and say "Oh, I'll just do it tomorrrowww" and then I don't. Me making deadlines for myself is almost laughable.

BUT today is Sunday and Sundays are made not for jesus (or was it God? They're related right?) but for doing homework! So I WILL at least start on typing the story and uploading the pictures (they're niiiice) to my photobucket. Along with that, I have to start on my little report for Biology AND my essay for a scholarship program through my work.

The wheels in my mind are turning non stop and I have realized so much tonight. I'm not going to say anything about a conversation between my mom and I, but things are going to change. And I guess "things" really just means me. It's nothing bad, it's actually nearly exciting minus the part where I have to grow up a little bit.

It's 4:09 AM and I should at least try to get the fuck to sleep.

FUCK.

2009-02-12T02:10:00.001-06:00

Tonight was incredible.
Pictures and stories later today or tomorrow.
Shit, I want to go back and relive it already.

2009-02-11T15:15:00.001-06:00

TONIGHT!

and no one/thing (that means you, cramps) better ruin this shit for me

This is a hair post

2009-02-11T02:31:00.002-06:00

Featuring my split ends. ANYWAY, I put a bunch of black in my hair today. Can you really tell from the pictures? Ehhh, kind of.
And you may ask "Why the fuck did you put up two pictures of the back of your head? No one cares!"
And I have no reply for that. I'm fucking tired.

Late night musical discoveries

2009-02-11T01:35:00.003-06:00

At this very moment I do not care about anything but this band. Fuck. I get so excited about music, I know, but right now I am bouncing up and down on my bed, biting my lip like a little kid waiting to open a gift.

I am about to pass out and I need to pee but I wouldn't dare leave my headphones.

THE GRAMMYS

2009-02-10T00:31:00.005-06:00

MY BABY GIRL (ADELE) TOOK HOME TWO OF THOSE LOVERLY STATUES. I love her so much it's absolutely ridiculous.

AND RADIOHEAD'S performance of "15 step" was UNGODLY. I got goosebumps all over my body just typing that out. Fuck. Fuck. The thoughts I've been having about Thom are sinful.

And off topic:

I'm reading one of my favorite books again and I came to the conclusion that if it is ever made into a movie I HAVE to play the lead girl. I think I could do it and I would make sure the producers and writers didn't ruin it.

Q:

2009-02-08T02:33:00.000-06:00

Could I listen to "Lump Sum" constantly?

A: Yah, I could.

2009-02-08T02:26:00.000-06:00

Those. Lips.

2009-02-07T21:18:00.000-06:00

Blueberry tea is where it's at.

AN UPDATE USING BULLETS!

2009-02-06T22:45:00.002-06:00

One of my dogs (Twinkle) got shot with a bb gun yesterday. It broke the skin and the pellet is resting right next to her spine. We're hoping that we don't have to get it removed because that could do more damage to her nerves. We have ideas of who on our street could have done it. I don't even want to go into it.
I have toilet paper stuck up both of my nostrils. I'm sick and this runny nose is a fucking killer.
I get to get my Bonnaroo ticket in EXACTLY 12 HOURS!!! Or at least put down the down payment.
I'm starting to accept the idea of moving an hour away to Pensacola when I finish my last 2 years of college. But I want to move back in with my family afterward and shit I tear up everytime I talk about it. Nevermind.
My hands and feet are constantly cold because of this weathhher.
BEIRUT is going to be on Letterman tonighttt!
I'm volunteering at my sisters' high school band thing tomorrow for the whole fracking day.
I need to pick up my check from work

I always think that I have a lot of things to list whenever I make these blogs, but I am always wrong.

GAHHHHHHH

2009-02-04T14:26:00.003-06:00

I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO BONNAROO.
I just said "fuck it" to everything thing else that I am saving up for. Somehow I think that I can figure out the money situation and still get to go to Waped Tour and NYC.
I'm living!
It's great.

CHECK OUT THE LINEUP:

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Phish (2 shows), Beastie Boys, Nine Inch Nails, David Byrne, Wilco, Al Green, Snoop Dogg, Elvis Costello (Solo), Erykah Badu, Paul Oakenfold, Ben Harper and Relentless7, The Mars Volta, TV on the Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Gov't Mule, Andrew Bird, Band of Horses, Merle Haggard, MGMT, moe., The Decemberists, Girl Talk, Bon Iver, Bela Fleck & Toumani Diabate, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Galactic, The Del McCoury band, of Montreal, Allen Toussaint, Coheed & Cambria, Booker T & the DBTs, David Grisman, Quintet, Lucinda Williams, Animal Collective, ~~Gomez~~, Neko Case, Down, Jenny Lewis, Santogold, Robert Earl Keen, Citizen Cope, Femi Kuti and the Positive Force, The Ting Tings, Robyn Hitchcock & The Venus 3, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Kaki King, Grizzly Bear, King Sunny Ade, Okkervil River, St. Vincent, Zac Brown Band, Raphael Saadiq, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Crystal Castles, Tift Merritt, Brett Dennen, Mike Farris and the Roseland Rhythm Revue, Toubab Krewe, People Under The Stairs, Alejandro Escovedo, Vieux Farka Toure, Elvis Perkins in Dearland, Cherryholmes, Yeasayer, Todd Snider, Chairlift, Portugal. The Man., The SteelDrivers, Midnite, The Knux, The Low Anthem, Delta Spirit, A.A. Bondy, The Lovell Sisters, Alberta Cross
More Artists to Be Announced!

I'm not kidding when I say that ALL of my favorite bands (except Beirut) are playing.
Fuck.

I'm surprised that it took me this long to realize

2009-02-02T01:06:00.003-06:00

why my itunes has been so unappealing to me lately.
And now when I search through my songs I only play artists that I hardly ever listen to.

I'm nursing a fractured heart when I thought I was perfectly fine.

How silly.

And for the record, I have plenty of things to write. I'm just lazy with my blog.

You know

2009-01-27T23:31:00.000-06:00

I'm not sorry that I don't have fake hair and wear vintage dresses.
I'm not sorry that I don't have some obscure indie remix on my profile.
And I'm definitely not sorry that I'm not a size zero.

One day you will realize how little all of this matters.

You should be proud of me

2009-01-27T00:48:00.001-06:00

for I went head to head with a huge fear of mine.
And even though the outcome was not exactly what I sought, I am fine. Breathing and everything. I feel somewhat fantastic, actually.

Quirky.

2009-01-23T01:06:00.001-06:00

1. I love to sing one line over and over again. Recently the CD player in my car crapped out on me so until I get my other player installed, it's either NPR or my own voice so that's been a blast. Right now the one line I sing is "I laughed so hard I fell down" and I try to sing it just like the song and then I try odd ways and end up laughing at myself and making sure that my windows are rolled up. It doesn't sound half bad though. If I could just get the rest down...

2. I am most self confident when alone in my room. Sometimes I open a window and just dance and sing or pace while singing. But more than not, I'm in some position on my bed with my itunes up. I read blogs and listen to podcasts and sometimes I will come across something that inspires me so much that I start to think which usually leads to silly daydreams that really don't have to be dreams at all. I wish I could walk into places without using my hair as a shield.

3. I love making myself laugh just as much as I love making anyone else laugh. I do this far too much from the comfort of the driver's seat. I will be waiting to leave a parking lot and just start pretending to yell. I'll really play it up and even if no one sees it, I'm at least tickled.

4. Speaking of jokes, I never let them go. If you did something stupid a year ago I will still give you shit about it. If a person gets brought up, I will incorporate them into every joke for the rest of the night.

5. I love doing the dishes when no one is home. I put on the silliest music and dance like it's going out of style. It's honestly the only way that I can deal with scrubbing plates and cups.

Maybe I'll add on to this some other time.

I'm just proud

2009-01-20T12:39:00.004-06:00

of my country, my new president, and my fellow Americans. This "hope" is almost cliche now, but who can deny it? In December of 2007, I decided that I needed to choose a candidate to back. This was my first election and there had to be someone that I could connect with. So I Googled and read and watched several of Barack's speeches until I was left in tears. It's nearly crazy that some ordinary man can come along and inspire so many people. I'm also proud that this is the man that I got to vote for in my first election. Tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to focus on the big circle by his name on the ballot on November 4th. And a year ago on the 29th, I bounced in my seat in my classes all day, anticipating going to vote in my first primary and anxiously awaited the outcome that night.
This is amazing. Not just because he is the first black president, but also because of the unity that he has brought with him. For the first time in my life, I feel a bond with my country. It's difficult to capture this feeling with words, but I want it to last for the next four (but hopefully eight) years.

And I love love loved his speech so I'm taking up way too much space to post it.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Just like me they long to see you on your knees.

2009-01-18T00:40:00.002-06:00

I am trying desperately to hold on to how I am feeling right now.
I thought I was leaving this blog; I had my mind set on it. There is just too much shit going on in my head right now for me to begin trying to put it into words - much less type it. But I'm keeping the blog (if anyone reads it anymore, there you go).
I've felt so boring lately. I have one class, 10 hours a week at work, too much free time, and over 10,000 songs to hold my interest on my itunes. I want to be a writer, but all I seem to write are these silly blog entries.
Honestly, I may need to rethink my major and career path. Do I really want to write CD reviews when I can't even put my thoughts into words half of the time?
I want a lot.
And a part of me is wanting to get everything out of me right now and deliver it personally to everyone it concerns.
But fear is holding me back, like it does with every aspect of my life.
I'm 20 years old and I'm still laughing at the thought of growing up. How long will the joke hold before I realize that it will never get me anywhere?

I need to get music out. I want to replicate everything that hits the right chords (pun completely intended). I need to be able to sit down and instantly have ideas and ways of wording. I had not done this since 10th grade, but tonight I got this amazing rush of inspiration that left me with almost half a page of dribble. It's possibly horrible and each phrase is choppy and my recent influence is painfully obvious (to me at least), but it's out and it's mine.

I can no longer hide from my feelings or keep things hush. Why can't I just embrace everything while it is here? Why is living such a huge ordeal for me? What am I afraid of? I hate thinking "What is the worst that could happen?" but I need to be prepared.
I need to say something, toughen up, say goodbye, grit my teeth and deal, lift my eyes from the ground, think I'm beautiful despite the standard telling me otherwise, live.

Baby steps have never seemed so gigantic.

AHHH!!!

2009-01-17T03:33:00.000-06:00

I have waited too damn long.

I love

2009-01-15T00:39:00.001-06:00

finding covers of songs that I love.
If I adore a song enough, I want to hear it done a thousand different ways.

2009-01-12T23:43:00.001-06:00

I have nothing interesting to write on, so here's another blog about music.

I cannot fucking stop watching this video.

2009-01-11T23:13:00.001-06:00

Thank you, Matt and Kim for always leaving me with a ridiculous grin upon my face.

I forgot what I was doing.

I actually had a story to tell Friday night

2009-01-11T01:02:00.003-06:00

but I was too busy crying and being ridiculous, so here it is:

On the way to Seaside, I stop at a gas station in Destin to uh, get some gas. A truck pulled into the parking lot in front of me and we were both heading to the TWO open pumps. See, I assumed that he would pull up to the first pump and let me get behind him on the second. I WAS PAINFULLY WRONG WITH MY ASSUMPTION. He took the back one, leaving me pump-less. So I shake it off and go to a pump on the other side which ends up being OUT OF ORDER. Now I'm pissed and I start calling him a "cock sucker" because that was honestly the first insult that came to mind.
I drive around all of the pumps until I find an open one which happens to be right across from him. I open my door and Taryn starts going on about how he has his ipod on and then we realize that he's ON THE PHONE. Maybe I'm crazy, but I haaaate when people use their phone anywhere but at their house and I'm assuming yet again that he is that kind of person who talks on his cell while driving and I hate him even more if that is the case.
So, I get out of my car and I'm about to put my card in when I have this semi-genius plan. I don't want to hear this pump stealing cock's phone conversation. I want to hear of Montreal. The moment I turn the key to the first setting in the ignition, Taryn knows exactly what I'm about to do. The windows are down and I set it on number six and crank the volume up just a bit and begin filling up. His conversation gets louder and I motion for Taryn to turn it up just a little more. THEN he gets back in his truck and he's nearly yelling into the receiver as he does so. It was brilliant.
As I'm pressing "no" for a receipt, I look over at his car and he is in the driver's seat, glaring at me. The expression was fucking priceless.
Then he starts to get out of his vehicle and I jump in mine, keep the music blaring, and yell "cock sucker" (this is probably my 2nd time using that phrase) as I drive away with my $11 worth of gas.